Have you noticed how w’ere not talking about sadness? Well, that’s exactly what ‘m going to talk about today. When do we feel it? Do we ALL feel it? What can we do with it?

Has everyone been playing happy families, been tearing your hair out, or a little of both?

Did we really need a world wide pandemic to make us stop and reconnect?

As I write this on World Mental Health Day, I wonder about ‘hitting rock bottom’ and what it means, especially for children. I might add that, when I searched the term ‘rock bottom’ it seemed to mainly deal with substance addiction and abuse. This is not what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about an emotional meltdown, I guess.

Anxiety causes many symptoms, both psychological and physical, and as we learn more about it with the research being carried out, we are beginning to understand the many ‘faces’ of Anxiety. It presents itself in surprising ways, and is now linked to many behavioural issues in children.

It seems to me that Mindful Meditation is that ‘pill’, that ‘key’ that we all desire to be whole and well in mind, body and spirit.

Childhood is a time of wonder and awe as the world grabs our attention through fresh eyes and ears. It is not hard to find a child absorbed in the blissful moment on a swing, or spinning just to feel the world move around them. Children are natural mystics. Sometimes the wonder opens all the way to ecstasy and unity.

- Tobin Hart, The Secret Spiritual World of Children (2003)

“It’ is natural for parents to wish to insulate their children, to reduce the adversity, risk or stresses they may face. On the other hand too much protection, support or insulation may deprive children of opportunities to learn to deal with mistakes in affirmative, self-esteem enhancing ways.”

• Robert Brooks and Sam Goldstein, Raising Resilient Children (2001)

I know from speaking to parents of young boys, that the general attitude regarding the “strong man” culture is slowly changing, but honestly, not fast enough. Are we encouraging our boys to reach out and talk about their feelings? Are their male role models doing the same (leading by example)?

Anxiety is a common concern now for our children. We are attending conferences and workshops dedicated to it. As parents and educators we can help children through their struggles with anxiety in many ways.

I know as an adult how difficult it can be to manage stress well. It was not something we were taught growing up. Now that life has become so much faster and demanding, I believe that we owe it to our children to teach them about stress and anxiety and how to manage them.

I know that now, more than ever, parents are aware of how important it is for children to have a strong sense of self, with personal boundaries and an ability to know when someone’s behaviour towards them is unacceptable and to communicate that. This contributes to their emotional, mental and physical safety and prevents them from being used, manipulated and violated by others.

“If a child is ignored or treated with critical words, he/ she is likely to create core beliefs of being ‘useless’, ‘unlovable’ or ‘not enough’. Children will develop positive thought patterns and core beliefs if the adults around them use optimistic language and avoid shaming and blame-based language.”

I think I can safely speak for all parents when I say, we want our kids to manage what life throws at them well and to be happy. And, unless we plan to be the parents who live with our children forever as we continue to look after them, the way to achieve that is for us to teach them some basics. So here’s what my research (and life experience) has uncovered.

According to an article on the Educational Playcare website - “Providing opportunities for children to actively use their senses as they explore their world through ‘sensory play’ is crucial to brain development – it helps to build nerve connections in the brain’s pathways. This leads to a child’s ability to complete more complex learning tasks and supports cognitive growth, language development, gross motor skills, social interaction and problem solving skills.”

“Why do we wait until the end of the year to reflect on our lives?” and “Why do we only make new resolutions on January 1st?”

The clear message I’m receiving in researching for this blog is, attachment to their ‘big person’ is what gives a child a feeling of safety and security. It’s a baby/ child who has a healthy attachment to their parent that feels secure enough to explore their environment and is also able to form deep, lasting friendships later in life (a key element in building resilience).

At a time in their lives when they are constantly growing and learning, good nutrition will support children’s neuron development, increase brain integration and improve their mood and behaviour.

The general consensus is; if we want to give our kids the best chance at a happy life, it starts with the pregnancy.

Life for the average family appears to be so incredibly busy nowadays. If Mum and Dad are both working then when and how does the family unit make time to connect, relax and have fun together?